Peeves' New Haircut
by Sir Hugs A Lot
Summary: The whole school is talking about.... Peeves' new Haircut... This is Harry's journal entry for the day that Peeves debuts his 'new look'!


A/N~ OK, this is a fan fiction written for an ACHOO Challenge. I pay it to ALR to do this one, since I didn't try the last one! Sorry 'bout that! Anyhoo… The ~*~Requirements~*~ were:   
  
*Someone must yell "FREEZE!"   
*Must include Peeves   
*The cheering charm must be used   
*There must be a new teacher   
*Must be reasonably long... none of those three   
paragraph things, but it doesn't have to be a novel   
  
Alrighty then… Here goes!   
  
Peeves' New Haircut   
  
Dear Journal,   
  
HAHA! Today was totally cool! You should have seen it… The whole school, staring at that stupid poltergeist, Peeves! He's not gonna live this one down for awhile… Even Hedwig was entirely too happy about it. OK, so we all know that Peeves has been needing a haircut for awhile… right? I mean, his hair is like five feet long. (OK, maybe not that long, but you know…)   
We all just woke up, it's not like we actually care that much about Peeves. We all (except Neville) know to watch the trick step on our way down to the Great Hall. And we're pretty knowledgable about all of his annoying little stunts… Dungbombs under the tables, water balloons over our heads, automatic woopi*cushions on each chair… but anyway, we all just woke up, got dressed in our black Hogwarts' robes, brushed our teeth, groomed ourselves in general (and like every other day, I tried to tame my hair, but failed miserably.), and headed down towards the Great Hall. The Slytherins came up from their dungeons, and we all met together, glaring at eachother with hatred of every kind.   
You know how when Dudley hasn't eaten all of the food on his plate in two split seconds, you get kind of worried? Well, that's what happened with Peeves. We noticed he hadn't broken anything, or embarrassed anyone, so we all got really worried. We started wondering whether poltergiests can die or not. We asked each other questions about this, and they were all left unanswered. Until, that is…   
Some people were getting extremely worried. They were saying things like, "I know he did horrible things… But Hogwarts will never be the same without him!" while others were waiting for some humongous joke, that just might harm everyone in the Hall. No one ate much. But then someone hollared from the crowd of students, almost crying over either anxiety or sadness, "FREEZE!" We all kinda looked around and wondered what kind of drugs this kid who yelled over everyone in the hall was on, when we heard a soft whimper from the chamber off the Great Hall.   
People jumped up from their seats and ran over to the door of the chamber, which was closed, but not locked. A bunch of us were up next to the door, trying to hear what was going on.   
"Someone should go see what's happening!" One girl said.   
"But we could get in serious trouble!" Hermione stated with her face filled with the common worry.   
"Well, someone should try to at least comfort whoever is in there…" said a boy.   
"Does anyone wanna go?" The first girl asked.   
"What about Harry Potter?" A girl asked from the crowd.   
"Yes! Yes! Harry!! Harry can do it! He can do anything!" Chorused the Creevey brothers.   
Meanwhile, I'm turning bright scarlet, slowly backing out of the crowd when Draco Malfoy pushes me from behind, saying, "Yes, Potter. I do think he'd be quite the candidate to go 'comfort' this whoever it is in their time of need…" And Crabbe and Goyle grunted and laughed stupidly, then on the summoning of Malfoy, pushed me into the room.   
It opened to someone who I'd never think I'd see crying. But not only that, they were floating above my head with a paper bag over their head, with not even eye holes to see where they were going. I couldn't believe that-   
"Peeves?!" I said with deep wonder and amazement in my voice. "What are you-"   
"Huh? who is it?" He asked between tramatized sobs.   
"Maybe if you took the bag off you could see." I had answered.   
"Ugh, critic… You're all just critics!! What's up with everybody and fashion? Why can't anyone here just try something new for once without being the laughing stock of the school?!"   
"We have uniforms…."   
"See? You're just like the others!"   
"What?"   
"What?"   
"What?"   
"ARE YOU MOCKING ME?!"   
At this point, I was getting really confused and embarrassed, and almost everyone in Hogwarts was staring at me(Including Cho), I felt I had to say something witty and outsmart that stupid git.   
"Well…" I said, uncertainly. "I… I…" I was losing big time here, and I needed to make myself heard. " I THINK YOU GOT A HORRIBLE HAIRCUT!"   
"You say what?" Peeves was incredibly embarrassed. "How do you know these things?"   
The crowd gasped, and I was quite pleased with myself, even though my comment was exactly as 'intriguing' as I had hoped, I muttered, "Dude, I'm good…" Then straightening up, I said, "Oh, well… Duh… Why else would you be wearing a bag on yoru head? Don't you know that in the Muggle world, they have a contraption called the television that has moving pictures come up on a screen, and they have things called sitcoms, which are comedies that are generally quite corny… But on the subject, everytime a child gets a horrible haircut, they stick a brown paper bag over their head… Except… They usually have the since to cut holes in it, first…"   
"Well, aren't you just a little hotshot? Famous Harry Potter, growing up with a bunch O' muggles! Growing up in a dark closet under the stairs. Then he comes and gets saved from the torturers by Hagrid, the brave GIANT!"   
Trying to stay calm, and having to catch Ron's robes as he comes up to attack Peeves from below, I quietly, yet firmly stated, "Show us your haircut."   
To tell you the truth, I was feeling much woe for the little monster. I thought that he just needed a shoulder to cry on. Someone to stand up with. But all of that changed when he said angrily, "You've learned too much, Potter. Hanging around that Mudblood!" I really don't know what happened. I just kind of blew up. I ran over to the wall, grabbed a lit torch which was on a mantle, and threw it at the paper bag on Peeves' head. It fell to the ground, but it had hit Peeves in the head hard enough for him to be knocked out, and fall beside it, and let it catch the bag on fire. Almost instantly, he woke up and started screaming and flying everywhere while struggling to take the paper bag off. I stamped the fire out, and suddenly looked down at peeves, who had wilted to the floor, like a dying flower. He was crying down at the stone ground saying, "I want my mommy… I want her NOW!"   
When he looked up, every face of every student in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry broke into laughter, including mine. Apparently… Peeves had gone for the "Eighties" look. He had a huge frow*type thing on the front of his head, and a buzz cut on the back.   
"I NEVER SHOULD HAVE TRUSTED THE BLOODY BARON!! I KNEW THAT HIS HAVING A PAIR OF SCISSORS NEAR MY HEAD WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA!"   
He started flying around again in rage, which made us laugh even more. Hermione, despite what he had said about her, had a look of sympathy on her face. I had never really noticed how pretty she was. But I had a feeling that Ron really did like her. Though I think this is getting off the subject…   
So, anyway… 'Twas a funny day. And those were laughs I could never forget! And Cho was looking so beautiful…   
  
Sincerely (Yeah, right…)   
Harry Potter   
  
A/N~ OK, I know… this wasn't the funniest of my fan fics… Sorry, if you didn't like it! I hope I do well in the ACHOO Challenge thingy… But who knows… I'm not as proud about this one as others. Well, please r/r… Thanks! Hugz! Love, Becky :D


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